Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
- Michael, 14

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14

Stay away from prunes.
- Randy, 9

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
- Traci, 14

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
-Naomi, 15

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
- Lauren, 9

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10

Never try to baptize a cat.
- Eileen, 8